September 18, 2014

Dad's car window during a rainstorm ...

I sat down to write comments back to the lovely ladies who have dropped by my highly sporadic blog ... but my brain kind of said "jmghfdereckndfgiuhasd". So I wrote a post instead.

***

This week has been a long and hard one for me. Basically, I have not been using my time well, during the day or at night; and as a result, I have not slept much at all this week. Last night I got about 4.5 hours of sleep. This neglecting has brought on a case of the joint pain, skin soreness, head pains, brain fog, and feverish feeling that I suspect will one day develop into full-blown fibromyalgia, especially if I keep on not caring properly for myself.

It's also been an anxious week. In the tradition of my literary döppelganger, Sydney Carton, I have been giving out grad school application tips and advice to my friends like a Pez candy dispenser all week ... and doing absolutely nothing of my own. There are professors who have been waiting more than a month to hear back from me. There is absolutely no excuse for that. Sydney Carton laziness and apathy, is what it is. Laziness and apathy. Tiredness. Feeling overwhelmed, perhaps. All of the above. And all of it, absolutely no excuse whatever.

It's been a busy week. As you may have noticed, I don't really do well at going out and looking for opportunities to better myself; rather, I kind of seem to tumble headfirst into them, then sit up in surprise and realize that this thing I'm sitting in will look really good on my résumé.  :-P  And so, true to form, I have tumbled into another job. It's a very good job, but it's really stretching me to the limit of my already limited skill set, so it's been somewhat of a source of stress this week as well.

And it's been a thinking week. Thinking about this strange vessel called a body that my spirit is temporarily encased in, and how best to care for it and live with it. Thinking about food and coffee and what's good and not good for me. And thinking about all the strange issues that bubble up after so long. Head coverings - what?? Homeschooling my kids - where did that come from? Where and how to serve after grad school? When to get a car? Whether to go to grad school here at home or someplace else - and if I go away, how to keep honoring my parents while living on my own?

Hard, anxious, busy thinking week.

I think I'll head for bed and try to let this poor fried brain of mine cool off for a while.